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LISTENING: to my annoying scratchy throat
FEELING: sick
SEEING: my new bucket list calendar on my wall

When I move through the city, I usually take the train. Lately, my commutes have been a bit more stressful. I find myself sometimes battling a full-on panic attack when someone boards who is behaving erratically. This is an experience many New Yorkers (especially women) have come to know well.

I don't avoid the subway because of this, though. I have a car, but I don't choose to drive it everywhere because I'm so scared of the subway. When I feel unsafe, I get off at the next stop and try to get back on in a different car where, hopefully, the vibe is more chill. It's inconvenient and annoying, but I make do.

The internet, however, will have you believe that New York's trains are the dirtiest, most dangerous place to be. And many people point to one culprit, in particular, these days: congestion pricing.

At the start of the year, New York City finally implemented its (albeit watered-down) congestion tolls. Drivers riding into lower Manhattan have a daily fee of $9. The money is supposed to funnel into MTA, the city's transit agency, to help upgrade and improve outdated infrastructure. In the meantime, however, more riders are hopping on the train and confronting the everyday realities of the subway system: delays, random changes in routes, and the other people who ride.

For years, I had read about how positive this policy would be from various climate and transit experts I trust. The air would be cleaner. The transit system would see a boost. Car culture would shift. I was pretty excited about the change, so I was shocked by the collective cultural response to the tolls.

New Yorkers have one meme page we love. It just, well, gets us. The Yerr.nyc page has been so vehemently anti-congestion tolls — and so have the comments — that I realized I was a minority in feeling excitement. Did I miss something? As a Long Islander and not a proper city girl, am I just another transplant who doesn't get it?

Then, I started hearing and seeing this sentiment elsewhere. And not from right-wing conservative types! These were predominantly Black and Brown working-class born-and-raised New Yorkers!

At a party a few weeks ago, a Latino guest expressed how angry he was about the new tolls. He alluded to it being a scam and a money grab. These are arguments I've continued to hear. However, this one dude also expressed concern over how communities in the South Bronx may see higher rates of air pollution as drivers try to avoid the tolls. It's a legitimate point: The Department of Health and Human Services submitted a formal public comment in 2022 about the plan's potential to increase air pollution in these communities.

All these arguments got me thinking more broadly: What about congestion pricing riles up New Yorkers? I'd love to think everyone cares about environmental justice, but I highly doubt that. I asked a few folks I saw on my feed expressing their anger about the tolls and walked away with this conclusion: New Yorkers see the tolls as yet another way the city is increasingly becoming a place for only the wealthy and elite. They're scared.

I understand. Rents keep going up, but our wages don't. The MTA keeps asking us for more money to ride the train without making the train any better to ride. (My local station has closed my preferred entrance for months. It was supposed to reopen in September, and we're now in January. WTF?) The rich, however, are fine. They can pay any toll that comes their way. They pay for cabs. They can afford whatever rent a landlord demands. They can buy their own homes. They got a condo in the city and a beach house in the Hamptons. They're not the ones living paycheck to paycheck.

That's what I heard from a lot of people. One woman I went to high school with told me via Instagram: "I'm a heavy believer that MANY programs we push out sound good on paper but will always fall on the backs of and will be at the expense of the working class."

She and others I spoke to don't trust the city to improve the transit system. They are skeptical. If the people don't trust their elected officials, everything that comes out of their mouths feels like a lie.

I do want to caveat all this by noting that I did hear from a few New Yorkers who are super appreciative of the tolls. One friend of mine rides her bike to work, so the tolls will reduce the number of cars on the road — cars that present an imminent danger to her every time she hops on her two wheels. Another old co-worker of mine needs to drive to work because of how much equipment he requires, and the tolls have cut his commute time dramatically. He reworked his budget so he could afford the $9 daily toll. He's no longer paying for parking in the city because he can now park on the street, which is cheaper than garages.

"I am so so so pleased in every way," he told me via Instagram. "A win."

The city estimates there are already 43,000 fewer cars in the city on a given weekday! I must admit that I love my car, but I love the fact I can get around in my city without it even more.

Some people are pissed. They may stay pissed. I hope that if you're someone who hates congestion pricing, that you take this moment to plug into your local politics. We ended up with this policy because our elected officials refused to pass the proper budget increases that the MTA needed. Who put them in office? New Yorkers.

We should expect more from our public transit. We should expect safety. We should expect basic comfort and reliability. The trains aren't where they need to be. The city isn't where it needs to be when people have nowhere to sleep but the subway. We need to demand more from the people who represent us in office.

I still remember the days of COVID and quarantine. The buses ran for free back then. Why did that end? (Mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani is promising to make buses free again. He's got my vote.)

We can't let our city council members, our mayor, our state representatives, and our governor get away with giving us the bare minimum when they've made it so hard for us to survive in this city. New Yorkers run this city, and we have got to remind the people who think they're in power who's actually in power.

Congestion pricing isn't going anywhere (at least, I hope not). The climate crisis requires fewer cars on the road. It requires a shift toward public transit, but people can't embrace these forms of transportation if they don't feel safe. And, look, I know the data shows how cars are more dangerous than trains. How is that supposed to make a woman riding alone feel better when there's a creepy man who won't leave her alone? Numbers can't shake that feeling of being out of control.

And I imagine that's why car culture feels so prevalent in these conversations. People feel in control in their cars (even if it's a false sense of control). There's no control when you're on a train where a conductor calls the shots and strangers surround you.

Sometimes, those strangers are my favorite part, though. Last week, I saw a mom hop on the train with her adorable twins in a stroller. Their little faces reminded me why I love the subway. I get to be in community with all sorts of people, even if for just a stop or two. It's on our city officials to make that space welcoming and safe so that we can continue to enjoy it. It's on New Yorkers to demand they do so.

No numbers or stats can make us feel better. Only a change in our lived experiences can. 🌀

Rest in Power

While we can't say for certain that climate change led to these specific weather events (we need attribution studies for that), we do know that the Earth's rising temperatures are already creating more disasters like these.